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Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Current Meditation

84  
1. How lovely is your dwelling place,
    O Lord of hosts!
My soul longs, yes, faints
    for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and flesh sing for joy
    to the living God.
Even the sparrow finds a home,
    and the swallow a nest for herself,
    where she may lay her young,
at your altars, O Lord of hosts,
    my King and my God.
Blessed are those who dwell in your house,
    ever singing your praise! Selah
Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
    in whose heart are the highways to Zion.
As they go through the Valley of Baca
    they make it a place of springs;
    the early rain also covers it with pools.
They go from strength to strength;
    each one appears before God in Zion.
O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer;
    give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah
Behold our shield, O God;
    look on the face of your anointed!
10 For a day in your courts is better
    than a thousand elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
    than dwell in the tents of wickedness.
11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
    the Lord bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does he withhold
    from those who walk uprightly.
12 O Lord of hosts,
    blessed is the one who trusts in you!

Monday, December 30, 2013

Fear of the Lord

Praise the Lord!
I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart,
    in the company of the upright, in the congregation.
Great are the works of the Lord,
    studied by all who delight in them.
Full of splendor and majesty is his work,
    and his righteousness endures forever.
He has caused his wondrous works to be remembered;
    the Lord is gracious and merciful.
He provides food for those who fear him;
    he remembers his covenant forever.
He has shown his people the power of his works,
    in giving them the inheritance of the nations.
The works of his hands are faithful and just;
    all his precepts are trustworthy;
they are established forever and ever,
    to be performed with faithfulness and uprightness.
He sent redemption to his people;
    he has commanded his covenant forever.
    Holy and awesome is his name!
10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
    all those who practice it have a good understanding.
    His praise endures forever!


I often fear God. I fear Him to much. I don't come to Him when I should. I am not sure why I fear Him. I love to praise Him, but when it comes to conversation, I fail to communicate. I am not sure why I struggle to converse with Him. I suppose because I am still immature in the Lord.

Islam and Brother Love

Psalm 133 
Behold, how good and pleasant it is
    when brothers dwell in unit
 It is like the precious oil on the head,
    running down on the beard,
on the beard of Aaron,
    running down on the collar of his robes!
It is like the dew of Hermon,
    which falls on the mountains of Zion!
For there the Lord has commanded the blessing,
    life forevermore.


Islam is a ministry that helped me come to know Jesus. It is like the spirit of Islam is dangerous enough to make me run to the savior of the Lord. The radical understanding of death brings us to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. It is amazing that Abraham has many children. Jews, Christians, and Muslims. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. It is amazing how God brings His Spirit! I am so in love with Jesus! It is brotherly love.

Jesus Christ is the most elegant man who brings our family together. He is altogether lovely. Who wishes to rebuke me?

An Army

Often Christians think an army is something spiritual. It isn't. God needs warriors. I am being drawn to the gym. I know what is coming, and I know I will need strength. I know the Lord has called me to this, and I will be faithful.
I realize not everyone will understand this, but I forgive them. I understand they want me to be protected and comforted.
However, I know that Israel will need warriors. I know I need to be strong. I know I need to have the Power of the Spirit.

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Revival!

Wow,
Today at First Assembly!!! It was powerful! I saw many people get reborn! It was so powerful. People gave themselves to the Lord. We are experiencing revival!
People from different nationalities are coming to our church now. I am seeing God! It is happening! God is coming to our meetings!
I am ready for everything that this world wants to throw at me. I have the confidence to face the lies, and see the breakthrough!

Question Number 1

How do you deal with stiff necked people?

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Current Meditation

Psalms 139

 O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
    and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
    and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
    it is high; I cannot attain it.
Where shall I go from your Spirit?
    Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
    If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
    and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
    and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
    and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
    the night is bright as the day,
    for darkness is as light with you.
13 For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.[a]
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
    I awake, and I am still with you.
19 Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
    O men of blood, depart from me!
20 They speak against you with malicious intent;
    your enemies take your name in vain.[b]
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord?
    And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
22 I hate them with complete hatred;
    I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
    Try me and know my thoughts![c]
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting![d]

Abortion Awake



One of Job’s faithful statements: “thou you slay me, I will trust in you.” I wonder if we can ascribe such a statement to the aborted baby. The baby who knows nothing about a world outside the womb. All the baby knows is the abortion. It feels fire. It feels dissection. Can the child know “trust?” Is trust innate? Can we know? We often wonder about the physical state of the child, and ignore the mental state of the child. This is where the real battle wages. Is the child conscious at conception? That is the true issue. Size doesn’t matter. Consciousness matters. Thou you slay me, I will trust you Lord.

Christ reigns

When the world turns
and the holy spirit cries
I will yearn for her
as she cries.
I know the truth.
I remember you.

Family

I am grateful for family. My father is a hard worker and my mother continues to remain faithful. I must admit that family is a remaining gem in my life. God is abundant with His love. I am glad my father has been a good example of a father. Something greater is the church. The church is amazing! How much love we have! It is powerful and it makes me faint. How marvelous.

Excommunication

I wanted to do some research on excommunication because I was curious about the practice. I couldn't even read a paragraph. The concept was too far beyond me. The idea that the church would shun or shame one of it's own members sounds so barbaric. I am thankful that the church (as far as I am aware) has progressed beyond that tradition. The love of God precedes our judgmental attitudes. The church is learning to serve one another beyond our own concepts of God's moral demands.
Excommunication is a messy process, and it should be discontinued. It is a practice that Paul was able to use because of the situation the church was in at the time. I am thankful we no longer live in those barbaric times, and Christ kingdom is advancing.

Grace Gives- Planned Parenthood

Bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.


I did something strange today. I donated money to Planned Parenthood. Why? Aren't I Pro-Life? Yes. Do I hate abortion? Yes. I also know that Planned Parenthood needs funds to help young men and women in terrifying situations. I figure if the money they receive comes by faith, from a woman who is pro-life, it may encourage a miracle. It may save a life.
What would happen if the church started funding Planned Parenthood? What would happen then? Conviction!
What if the church started funding Planned Parenthood, instead of protesting? Doesn't the debtor belong to the debtor. I think money controls the functions of the business. I believe it is a revolutionary idea, and it might just work.

Friday, December 27, 2013

Rest

Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness!
    You have given me relief when I was in distress.
    Be gracious to me and hear my prayer!
O men, how long shall my honor be turned into shame?
    How long will you love vain words and seek after lies? Selah
But know that the Lord has set apart the godly for himself;
    the Lord hears when I call to him.
Be angry, and do not sin;
    ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Selah
Offer right sacrifices,
    and put your trust in the Lord.
There are many who say, “Who will show us some good?
    Lift up the light of your face upon us, O Lord!”
You have put more joy in my heart
    than they have when their grain and wine abound.
In peace I will both lie down and sleep;
    for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Bringing His Kingdom

Hollywood is producing more films that have spiritual elements. It really tickles my heart. I am thankful! It is such a testament to God's glory. God is bringing His kingdom.
Hollywood finally realizes that humans crave morality. We desire beauty and goodness more than we desire evil and darkness.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Dissapointment


I am getting use to disappointment, which is a blessing. Everyone used by God goes through testing and hardship.
One of my longings is to travel to Israel. I finally had the money to attend. A trip was even happening in September. Then the group leader decided that my mental illness wouldn't allow me to attend. Talk about disappointment. Did it hurt? Yes! Did it make me cry? No. I expected the answer. I knew the response would come.

Injustice Hounding

My dad has given to charities in the past, and it disturbs me how they hound him now. They send him letter after letter, asking him to donate again and again. Why should these charities remind him of all the injustice in the world? Hasn't he already proven he wants to help? Hasn't he already given? Why this hounding?
He has a wife and daughter who are both emotionally sensitive to injustice, so all these letters only intensify the grief in their hearts.
I don't think it is wise to use poverty as prostitution. Plastering injustice in our media and mail is practically porn. It causes mentally unstable people to lose their minds. It is desensitizing a generation to violence, sex, and horror. It may be the truth about our world, but it will only paralyze and depress those who desperately want to help.
We must moderate our exposure to injustice. If someone has already proven they want to aid others, give them the ability, but don't hound them.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Current Meditation

Matthew
 21 Now when they drew near to Jerusalem and came to Bethphage, to the Mount of Olives, then Jesus sent two disciples, saying to them, “Go into the village in front of you, and immediately you will find a donkey tied, and a colt with her. Untie them and bring them to me. If anyone says anything to you, you shall say, ‘The Lord needs them,’ and he will send them at once.” This took place to fulfill what was spoken by the prophet, saying,
“Say to the daughter of Zion,
‘Behold, your king is coming to you,
    humble, and mounted on a donkey,
    on a colt,[a] the foal of a beast of burden.’”
The disciples went and did as Jesus had directed them. They brought the donkey and the colt and put on them their cloaks, and he sat on them. Most of the crowd spread their cloaks on the road, and others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. And the crowds that went before him and that followed him were shouting, “Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest!” 10 And when he entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred up, saying, “Who is this?” 11 And the crowds said, “This is the prophet Jesus, from Nazareth of Galilee.”

Jesus Cleanses the Temple

12 And Jesus entered the temple[b] and drove out all who sold and bought in the temple, and he overturned the tables of the money-changers and the seats of those who sold pigeons. 13 He said to them, “It is written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer,’ but you make it a den of robbers.”
14 And the blind and the lame came to him in the temple, and he healed them. 15 But when the chief priests and the scribes saw the wonderful things that he did, and the children crying out in the temple, “Hosanna to the Son of David!” they were indignant, 16 and they said to him, “Do you hear what these are saying?” And Jesus said to them, “Yes; have you never read,
“‘Out of the mouth of infants and nursing babies
    you have prepared praise’?”
17 And leaving them, he went out of the city to Bethany and lodged there.

Jesus Curses the Fig Tree

18 In the morning, as he was returning to the city, he became hungry. 19 And seeing a fig tree by the wayside, he went to it and found nothing on it but only leaves. And he said to it, “May no fruit ever come from you again!” And the fig tree withered at once.
20 When the disciples saw it, they marveled, saying, “How did the fig tree wither at once?” 21 And Jesus answered them, “Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen. 22 And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”

The Authority of Jesus Challenged

23 And when he entered the temple, the chief priests and the elders of the people came up to him as he was teaching, and said, “By what authority are you doing these things, and who gave you this authority?” 24 Jesus answered them, “I also will ask you one question, and if you tell me the answer, then I also will tell you by what authority I do these things. 25 The baptism of John, from where did it come? From heaven or from man?” And they discussed it among themselves, saying, “If we say, ‘From heaven,’ he will say to us, ‘Why then did you not believe him?’ 26 But if we say, ‘From man,’ we are afraid of the crowd, for they all hold that John was a prophet.” 27 So they answered Jesus, “We do not know.” And he said to them, “Neither will I tell you by what authority I do these things.

The Parable of the Two Sons

28 “What do you think? A man had two sons. And he went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ 29 And he answered, ‘I will not,’ but afterward he changed his mind and went. 30 And he went to the other son and said the same. And he answered, ‘I go, sir,’ but did not go. 31 Which of the two did the will of his father?” They said, “The first.” Jesus said to them, “Truly, I say to you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes go into the kingdom of God before you. 32 For John came to you in the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes believed him. And even when you saw it, you did not afterward change your minds and believe him.

The Parable of the Tenants

33 “Hear another parable. There was a master of a house who planted a vineyard and put a fence around it and dug a winepress in it and built a tower and leased it to tenants, and went into another country. 34 When the season for fruit drew near, he sent his servants[c] to the tenants to get his fruit. 35 And the tenants took his servants and beat one, killed another, and stoned another. 36 Again he sent other servants, more than the first. And they did the same to them. 37 Finally he sent his son to them, saying, ‘They will respect my son.’ 38 But when the tenants saw the son, they said to themselves, ‘This is the heir. Come, let us kill him and have his inheritance.’ 39 And they took him and threw him out of the vineyard and killed him. 40 When therefore the owner of the vineyard comes, what will he do to those tenants?” 41 They said to him, “He will put those wretches to a miserable death and let out the vineyard to other tenants who will give him the fruits in their seasons.”
42 Jesus said to them, “Have you never read in the Scriptures:
“‘The stone that the builders rejected
    has become the cornerstone;[d]
this was the Lord's doing,
    and it is marvelous in our eyes’?
43 Therefore I tell you, the kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people producing its fruits. 44 And the one who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces; and when it falls on anyone, it will crush him.”[e]
45 When the chief priests and the Pharisees heard his parables, they perceived that he was speaking about them. 46 And although they were seeking to arrest him, they feared the crowds, because they held him to be a prophet.

Monday, December 23, 2013

The Big Bang Theory



There are some heated debates raging in the media now. Homosexual marriage and Duck Dynasty’s star speaking his opinions. Well, I will confess I am a little controversial myself. I have found more comfort watching “The Big Bang Theory” instead of attending church.  I have had brilliant Christians remind me that it is crude and sexually immoral. I remind myself that the Bible is just as crude.
I suppose I relate to “The Big Bang Theory” because I have wrestled with the stigma of mental illness, which “The Big Bang Theory” does subtly address with Sheldon. All the characters have eccentric behavior, and I feel like I can relate to those qualities more than the “picture perfect Christian standard.”
 The show discusses religion more than some Christian sermons. The show is more realistic than some polite Christian conversations, and that is why I am addicted to it.
I find I am more aware of God’s glory and mercy when I watch the show, and I realize this may shock most people. However, I find God there. I see God’s spirit. I can commune better with His Spirit.
They are more forgiving than today’s hateful media and judgmental pulpit. Jesus is represented in the show. So is fidelity.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

My Peace

"It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep."

When I consider my past, I often chuckle. I love this verse now. I use to anxiously seek the presence of God. Now I find Him in my rest. He is such a wonderful councilor.
I use to think God was found in the toil of theological discussion. I use to think God was found in the fiery prayer meetings. I now realize God isn't to be gained, He is given.

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Gift

Christmas is coming, and I feel like it is already here. God's presence is intoxicating. He is gentle, loving, glorious. He is the most romantic. He is so costly. Worthy of my everything. I wish it was Sunday already. I want Him to know how much I adore Him. Honestly, I am probably annoying to Him. I am His constant companion. I love Him every second I can.

He is There



Why chapel makes me ill. It reminds me of him. The boy that broke my heart. Church should be a sanctuary. However, it isn’t. It reminds me of his blue eyes. His smile. His charm. How can I enter a church, when it reminds me of how the good Christian boy broke my heart? He sang the good worship songs. Now when I sing to Jesus, I can only feel my heart break more.
How can Christian women overcome a good Christian heartbreak? Avoid church? Avoid the bible? What is the answer? Preacher calls us to return to church and it will fix the problem. However, when the worship leader grabs his guitar, it only spikes your heart rate. You close your eyes and pray that the memory won’t return. It returns. You ask for forgiveness. You pray for memory loss. Anything to stop the pain.
You are not alone, sweetheart. I know your pain. I realize you are hurting. There is healing for you. I promise. Eventually, you will realize that the man worshiping isn’t aware of your heartache. He is only serving God. You are able to overcome your pain and find God. You find Him. God is nursing your heartache. Eventually, God is your romance. Eventually, you realize God loves you more than the one who got away. God is vibrant. God loved you first. God is extravagant. You will realize that the church is full of grace and healing. You will realize the pain is leaving. Love overcomes false love.