He is There

Why chapel makes me ill. It reminds me of him. The boy that broke my heart. Church should be a sanctuary. However, it isn’t. It reminds me of his blue eyes. His smile. His charm. How can I enter a church, when it reminds me of how the good Christian boy broke my heart? He sang the good worship songs. Now when I sing to Jesus, I can only feel my heart break more.

How can Christian women overcome a good Christian heartbreak? Avoid church? Avoid the bible? What is the answer? Preacher calls us to return to church and it will fix the problem. However, when the worship leader grabs his guitar, it only spikes your heart rate. You close your eyes and pray that the memory won’t return. It returns. You ask for forgiveness. You pray for memory loss. Anything to stop the pain.

You are not alone, sweetheart. I know your pain. I realize you are hurting. There is healing for you. I promise. Eventually, you will realize that the man worshiping isn’t aware of your heartache. He is only serving God. You are able to overcome your pain and find God. You find Him. God is nursing your heartache. Eventually, God is your romance. Eventually, you realize God loves you more than the one who got away. God is vibrant. God loved you first. God is extravagant. You will realize that the church is full of grace and healing. You will realize the pain is leaving. Love overcomes false love.