Whole

I remember the exact day I had my first heartbreak. A late bloomer, I did not date in high school. Nevertheless, I knew heartbreak existed. My girlfriends would call me on the phone, sobbing about how a boy demolished their expectations. I did not want heart damage, so I pledged not to be distracted by relationships. I reneged on that pledge after I met my first true crush. He appeared to be everything I wanted in a husband. I was overcome by euphoric and intoxicating feelings; and as is the pattern, this attractive young man broke my heart.

He considered me as a sister, not as someone to date. His rejection felt false. Deluded into thinking he actually loved me, I pressed further: “But there is something more. I know there is something more.” Again, he said he was only a brother in Christ. I responded out of denial, “But, there is something more. I can tell. I am more than a sister to you.”

I was cruel to the poor young man. It is not easy to break a girl’s heart, especially if she does not recognize the suitor’s disinterest. He had to keep repeating his feelings, “No, I do not feel that way for you.”

I now accept that this young man cared nothing for my heart. Nevertheless, I can still picture the day he decided not to love me. I remember his facial expressions, the atmosphere, and my hopes. I also remember God. God was with me. 

Jesus stood between us. Jesus was the protector of my heart. When the devastating blow came, God rescued my fragile heart. God wanted more, more than sisterly respect. The love of Jesus captured my heart that night, not the charismatic young man.

If you are wrestling with a broken heart, listen to the savoir's voice. Don't let him go. He is MUCH better at love than human beings. He will romance you until you are His. He promises to be your first love. If you are hungry for a  relationship; turn to God. He wrote the greatest love story, so He knows how to romance your heart! I have no more void. Thanks to Jesus I am whole, not broken.