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Friday, June 12, 2015

I Can't Give You What I Have

I shared an ache with a fellow prayer warrior tonight. We were praying for the next generation, asking God to awaken hearts. After hearing the heartfelt prayers, I asked him, "Do you ever feel like you can't give others what you have?" 
After talking to my friend, I was reminded of God's faithfulness and everlasting covenant to all generations. However, I still feel like my experience with God is not something the next generation can embrace. My fervor took hours in the prayer room, classes studying the word, and sacrifices in the secret place. I want to stir their fervor and devotion, but such aspects of faith simply are not transferable with mere human words.
Prayer meetings are often full of heartache and longing because you are birthing things that don't exist yet. You see the potential and the need for the answer, but you have to wrestle with the in-between and the silence. You fear they will have no reaction; you fear no response; you fear no encounter.
I don't know how evangelist do it. Sharing the glorious mystery of Jesus with people who don't respond or don't care. I think that is why I never considered myself an evangelist. It is hard to wait for someone to meet Jesus. It hurts. I know of His glory, the glory of His presence and His extravagant love. Non-believers dismiss that glory, so evangelism appears taxing and heartbreaking to me.
I liked what my friend said (paraphrased), "I want them to experience God like I did. But they still need to have an encounter. They have to make the choice." I could see in my friends eyes that he hurt over it as well. We have a treasure, a hidden treasure, in the heavens, so it hurts when others don't experience it with us.
Mentally, I acknowledge that all humans have a unique experience with God. It is arrogant of me to expect that they worship and follow God just like I do. Nevertheless, I tasted the goodness of God. Once you taste, you want everyone to savor the whole meal, not just the crumbs. I have come to the conclusion that I am helpless when it comes to sharing my faith, but God is more than able to use my faith to change a heart. I can't give the next generation what I worked to gain, but I can always encourage them to find their own passionate pursuit.

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