Recently, after investing my soul in two different ministries, both ministries suffered from disunity and broke apart. My heart was deeply wounded because I felt the separation happened during a moment when the Spirit was accelerating the advancement of His kingdom through signs and wonders. Everyone was pursuing God together, and for whatever reason, everything came apart. It made little sense to me!
What frustrates me: we prayed for a movement of the Spirit, and when it finally came, everyone reacted differently to the move. I expected my companions to survive the movement, but instead we acted selfishly, became judgmental, and separated. This left me wounded and, honestly, bitter and angry. We prayed for unity, and when we were given the opportunity to be loving, we were cruel to each other!
Now everyone is moving on with their lives. Going about their days as if everything is as it should be. We ignore the hurt. We ignore the disunity. We have church every Sunday in our separate buildings and say our ritual prayers, but we haven't reconciled with our brothers and sisters. It is sin. We aren't blameless. Our communities are broken and my spirit is deeply grieved over it.
Matthew 5:21-26
21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire. 23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25 Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. 26 Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.
In this turmoil, I realize church members are truly Christ's ambassadors. I know because my friends' actions have caused me to lose faith and hope. I see their divisive actions, and I start to question God's goodness. There is a direct connection. We must be careful how we live because the world is watching. The world makes judgments about God when we treat each other with disrespect.
Love must be our motivation. I want unity to permeate our services. I want to subdue the darkness. I want the church to be a true reflection of God's Son. God's bride will be holy and blameless. I believe God is unsettled by disunity and displeased by worship that is stained by separation. I don't want to be angry. However, currently, community is robbing me of God, instead of bringing me closer to Him. That makes me mad. There is my confession.
I want the Spirit. I want Him more than anything! I want our worship to please God. If the body isn't functioning properly, then I miss the Lord. That isn't acceptable. The accuser comes into our words and attempts to defile the work of the Spirit. The Spirit builds on a foundation of love and self-sacrifice. I am praying for reconciliation even though I have no idea how that will happen.
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