Reignited

When God first told me I was going to remain single, I was ecstatic and full of wonder. I had never been taught that scripture actually promotes singleness over relationships. I was taught the complete opposite: "God blesses families, not the unmarried". As I began to glory in the blessings of singleness, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. Looking back, I realize now that I might of sounded like a broken record. I assume my friends and family tired of hearing about how much I enjoyed my singleness. I talked about it incessantly! I stopped being as vocal about it, but my heart never stopped celebrating this calling. Recently, I heard a sermon that gave me a new insight into this glorious calling.

The preacher was talking about how his daughter was starting to date. He joked that he thinks all fathers have a biological reaction, which causes them to despise their daughters' boyfriends. The congregation laughed, probably because it's true. Eventually, the pastor noted that God gave him more grace to love his daughter's suitor. However, I didn't really focus on this father's acceptance of the new romance because God was busy screaming in my ear. "I have a biological disdain for any man who wants to date you, Tamara!"

The Lord's words hit me because I thought my singleness was more about me becoming holy or about my single-minded devotion. Obviously, those benefits are there in abundance. However, God revealed that this calling was more about His jealousy. It had more to do with His inability to share me with anyone, not only about how this calling would make me single-minded or set-apart.

His clear message made me shiver and celebrate. I fear for any man who dared to pursue me in the past, present, or might pursue me in the future. I have certainly grown in my ability to turn away from the temptation to find companionship outside of God's plan for me. This message solidified my devotion and renewed my commitment to singleness. I promise not to drone on about it forever, but this revelation reignited my passion for singleness.