My weight is forcing me into a depression. I use prayer time, asking God to rescue me. I know the majority of women wrestle with body image. I am certainly one of those women. Today I weight more than I have ever weighed. It’s frustrating to know that my current medication increases weight. I try to use that as an excuse, but there is no excuse.
I am a fierce person. I cherish the warrior spirit. When I was younger, my entire life was a competition. I beat the boys at the track. I recently had a childhood friend admit that he was intimidated by me. That warrior spirit is still inside me. It resurfaces when I exercise. I remember adrenaline is addicting.
More than anything my struggle is about identity. I’m not overly obsessed with looking attractive. I am obsessed with physically reflecting my inner fierceness. I am a passionate person with strong roots. My physical fitness is a reflection of my commitment to the Lord. I can’t be a lethargic, pleasure-seeking, instant gratification follower. I need to be disciplined and fit.
God is my personal training, constantly reminding me that it is possible to lose 50 pounds (my goal). I found it disheartening when I returned to an exercise regimen and was winded 10 minutes into the 45 minute exercise. It isn’t always the difficulty of the exercise that stops you; it’s the embarrassment of looking like an active marshmallow.
Despite my battle, God has given me a vision of my future self: healthy and fit. I did it once before. I weighed 160 and got down to 125.
God is my personal training, constantly reminding me that it is possible to lose 50 pounds (my goal). I found it disheartening when I returned to an exercise regimen and was winded 10 minutes into the 45 minute exercise. It isn’t always the difficulty of the exercise that stops you; it’s the embarrassment of looking like an active marshmallow.
Despite my battle, God has given me a vision of my future self: healthy and fit. I did it once before. I weighed 160 and got down to 125.
Currently, my exercise is motivated by Amanda Cook’s song “You Make Me Brave.” It’s amazing how I can run harder and longer if that song plays in the background. It reminds me that I am a warrior who must be prepared for war.
When Joshua was told to be brave and courageous, not to fear, there was a real battle ahead of him. As I watch the news, I realize we have a similar battle to fight. The insjustice is more active than in former years. People are turning to murder and terrorism. As an American, I don't want to fit a negative stereotype: lazy and unaware.
God promises to look past my current weakness to form me into the warrioir bride He desires and needs.
God promises to look past my current weakness to form me into the warrioir bride He desires and needs.
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