Beyond Your Imagination

I would lie if I said I didn't fear hell. I do. More often than not, I feel the flames on my very doorstep. I worry I have gone too far. I worry I committed the unforgivable sin. These are thoughts that enter my mind. I long for Jesus to fight these advances. I beg for comfort and release. I have some hope and assurance, but the enemy is full of hatred. I struggle in these battles. The Lord has won the victory, but the fights are bloody.
When these demons accuse me, it is hard to defend myself. I see my failures and I understand that the law convicts me. I know that I don't often do what the law, the world, and society requires of me I long to justify myself before a Holy God.
The only comfort I find is with the Holy Spirit. I would say Jesus is my comfort, but He is also my conviction. He lived a sinless life, so He is also the one who makes me feel foolish and naked. I try every day to please my Beloved Jesus. Thankfully, He left me His Spirit. I am leaning on God's Spirit to carry me through these dark times. I long to follow God's ways. I long to be free from sin. Right now God's Holy Spirit is the One I lean on.
If you struggle to feel accepted, remember to lean on the Holy Spirit. Look for Christ's return. Your gut may say you are worthless, hated, orphaned, and discarded. Your thoughts may say you are beyond help or recovery. Your gut may say that not even God could save you. There might be something beyond your own conception.