My identity is found in prayer. As I lift my voice in intercession, I feel distinctive. I sense God’s pleasure. However, I grapple over this supernatural articulation. My prayer life is constantly evolving. My theology about prayer remains clouded. I never doubt its effectiveness, but I doubt its expression.
I speak in tongues. I physically react to God’s presence. I feel heat in my body when the Spirit moves upon me. I see visions. I hear the audible voice of God. I weep for hours in prayer.
However, I can also remain silent and stoic. I can mock someone who falls under the power of God’s spirit. I question the prayer movement and wonder if prayer warriors are religious nuts. I am a skeptic when heaven’s ceiling is brass. I want to say my prayer life is definable and a solid foundation, but it is not.
Even though I believe prayer is the soul defining expression of my life, I still consider it a mystery.