I am writing out of insecurity, therefore do not be offended by any abrasiveness. Only forgive and try to understand.
I am now at the age when most of my friends are married with kids. I am blessed to see these friends mature into Godly families. I love to witness the sacrifice that parents make to raise their children. A majority of my close friends have the ambition to raise many children. I applaud this! The calling of a mother or a father is a worthy profession.
However, child rearing is not my calling. I have no desire to have children of my own. I think God has gifted me in certain areas, but caring for a child is not one of them. I have aspirations outside of rearing children, and these particular aspirations would be hindered if I had a family.
Even though I have made it clear that I am not the motherly type, Christians still try to fit me into that mold. I unashamedly admit I am horrible with children. I do not think it is my biblical duty to become a mother in any form. I think the Bible allows certain women to abstain from child rearing.
Tragically, the current church expects all woman to be mothers or at least motherly. Therefore, the tendency is for young Christian woman to gravitate to the youngsters. A woman will become a Sunday school teacher or help out in the nursery. When a child comes in the room, women swarm with oo's and awe's, or fight over who will hold the child next. The women who avoid these ministries are assumed to be a lepers.
I love children. I have that built in nurture mechanism just like all women. But, I also have the understanding that I am no less of a woman because I choose not to rear children. I readily bless woman whose main profession is mother. But I also readily understand women who shy away from this profession. To each her own
2 comments:
I get frustrated quite often with our culture--in and outside of the church.
If a woman is unmarried, she gets pressure from all sides to find "Mr. Right" and do it quickly! If a married woman has no children, she hears the question "When...?" for the first two years of her marriage and then deals with people figuring there must be "something wrong" until she has a child or dies (I guess).
If a woman (such as myself) says, "I don't want to have children," people assume she either can't or she'll change her mind.
Some sections of the church do believe it is your duty to have children, but the fact is that people have been fruitful and multiplied enough already! We have a really full planet! I say if God is calling you to use your gifts and talents in another area, that's where you should be serving!
Um...can you tell I have a bit of a soapbox in this area? But I'll shut up now.
I am glad you got on your soap box. It is comforting to know I am not the only one feeling this way!
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