Blessed Assurance

Lately, I have struggled with my confidence before the Lord. I have questioned the authenticity of my salvation. I can not judge if this fear is a result of false condemnation or an accurate assessment of my current condition.

When I meditate on the Bible, I feel conviction and unworthiness. The standards of our faith are holy and pure. My weak vessel is neither holy nor pure. God demands our devotion, and I falter more than I care to admit.

Most Christian believe that if a person places faith in Christ, they are automatically assured a position in His kingdom. I would negate such a statement because the Bible speaks of a "form of godliness" with no power. Many people will be deceived in the last days. If we are too assured of our salvation, we fall into sloppy grace.

I can't decipher if my fear is a needful reverence or an oppression. There are moments I begin to weep because I am convinced I am not going to heaven. Most of my friend would argue that such thoughts are foolish. Still, these "foolish thoughts" are real to me. I feel my soul crying out for salvation and refuge; rarely does my soul feel confident before God.

There is probably a balance to all this. All believers need to fear hell at all times, but a believer must also rest in God's ability to save. Even though I know this, I also know I have not mastered an ability to rest. I constantly think I have stepped outside the bounds of God's grace.

1 John 3:18-22
"My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him. For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God. And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight."