Forget Them!

Ps 45:10-11
Hear, O daughter, and consider, and incline your ear: forget your people and your father's house, and the king will desire your beauty. Since he is your Lord, bow to him.
ESV

These two verses are special to me. However, I have probably misused them in the past.

I have misused these verses to justify rebelling against my father. This is NOT the intention of these verses. I have used these verses to escape the pressures of being a true friend. I lock myself away, and hope these verses negate me from loving others. I am trying to fight my tendency to avoid others.

However, there is an acceptable hiddeness demanded by these verses. I think every believer owes it to themselves to have a secret place. Every believer needs to know their inner most thoughts are safe with the Father.

I want to share a dream I had a while ago. Actually, I consider it to be my first, real spiritual dream.

I was in a room. This room was like the homes during Jesus's earthly ministry. There were two tables. At the first table sat Pharisees from Jesus's day. At the second table sat Hasidic Jews of today. I was telling them about how I loved Jesus. I told them how beautiful He was, and how I couldn't take my eyes off Him. All of them were looking at me as if I was insane. Some looked concerned, some looked confused, and some even looked angry. Then Jesus came in the door. He was smiling a beautiful, affectionate smile. None of the Jews looked His way. They probably didn't even know He came in the room. They were too busy trying to understand or ridicule what I was saying. Jesus only stayed a few seconds. Before I could tell the Jews to look at Him, He had disappeared.

There are various thoughts I have about this dream. But, I wanted to focus on this point. I can't explain my love for God. There are no words to describe my need and admiration of Him. I fully embrace that people will consider me naive, crazy, fanatical, or misled. I no longer try to prove myself to others. (Rather, I am in the process of trying to stop.)

I will forget the ridicule, (even the well-intentioned kind) and bow down to my Lord. Because at the end of the day, when I rest myself on my pillow, He is the only one who hasn't left me. It is His final judgement, His beautiful smile, that causes me to rest and fall asleep. I will "forget" my need to be accepted or understood by those around me.