Sunday, March 09, 2008
I am in a struggle because my life doesn't look the same. Transition and change are so difficult for me. The 6am IHOP set is no longer happening. I feel like I am to blame because I wasn't faithful enough. I also feel disposable and that hurts my pride. My relationship with God has been rocky. He has been distant and undecipherable. I love Him, but I don't know Him. There have been multiple times where my hope has been stirred only to be crushed. I hate being tossed to and fro. I know God is working in my life and that the end result will be miraculous. Still, the road there is filled with struggle and disappointment. God please be near.