I Hate Money

For as much as I hate money, I seem to be surrounded by it. Most people of the older generation understand the value of money. When I was a young Christian, I strongly believed that the Bible didn't approve of wealthy people, so I always wanted to live below my means. However, I have slowly learned that Jesus has more to say about money than I first realized. He explains that our stewardship will reveal our level of faith and generosity.
I must confess I have failed to prove my generosity. I'm not a good giver because I always fear I won't have enough money to spare or the receiver won't appreciate the gift. I have many possessions, but I don't have any deep attachment to anything I own. Most of those items are hand-me-downs. The only possessions I cherish at the moment are the things that give me the ability to reach out to others. 
I haven't had the luxury of work since my hospitalization. I will start again this Monday. My bank account is currently in the negative, so I hope to work enough this week to pay that off. Then I need to pay a phone bill, electric bill, fix my car, fix my laptop before it crashes, and pay off medical bills. After I graduate there will also be the loans. It is so ironic (and laughable). I promised myself I would never take a loan out to pay for college, yet despite my deep conviction, I have used loans.
Despite my lack of stewardship, I knew I needed to attend Taylor to find myself. I could have attended a public school for less money, but my Father is worth every penny spent.
God is a provider. He has proven this time and again. I trusted Him with my future and He is building the connections and promising to fund my ultimate goal to help those who are suffering.