The Corporate Cry

A Christian song has the lyrics "there's a God-shaped-hole in all of us and the restless soul is searching". I am a restless soul. Constantly searching and craving God's presence. Called to be an intercessor, my soul is constantly charged with either grief or jubilation. I use to assume I was more emotional, more intense, or more sensitive than others. However, I find myself doubting that assumption now. That assumption is prideful. The "God cry" is a corporate cry that originates from the desire of the Holy Spirit. All believers restlessly search for God's presence.

I hope people can forgive, or at least understand my pride. When I enter a worship meeting and Christians appear stoic, I struggle to understand how they remain composed. Especially if the spiritual atmosphere is alive, or the Spirit is speaking. There are moments when heaven is awakening my soul, and I am convinced that everyone should be bowed on the floor and weeping. But they aren't.

Worship invites God's kingdom. We are asking a fiery God to inhabit His people. I expect fire to burn our skin. I expect the beautiful Jesus to speak His love over us. That isn't normal Sunday same-old, same-old. When I raise my head to look around, I don't expect to see men sitting in their seats and yawning. But, I do. Women are talking to each other and not at all engaged in worship. During their lack of engagement, I am sitting in my seat rocking back and forth, feeling like I am about to explode from an intimate encounter with the Holy One. I don't understand. I am not judging others' actions. I just don't understand. I can only assume that God has chosen to speak with me at that moment, and these people will be visited at another time. Or that God works differently with me.

Corporate worship is beautiful, and I am learning to appreciate it more. I can't control it! I should never attempt to force others to experience God. Worship and love is a choice.

The thickness of heaven has inhabited my being on many occasions. God reminds me that these moments of blissful worship are preparing me for my personal cross. As I spend time with my community of worshipers, it solidifies my calling and my desire for God. Every believer has a God-given desire, and worship will give us the ability to express it in freedom.