My dialogue with Holy Spirit, for the most part, goes unseen. When He stirs within, which happens more often now, I have hidden spiritual fainting fits. I often swoon from the constant inward conversations I share with Him. My spiritual life is invisible, but that doesn't make it tame. God's affections toward me are overwhelming, and I struggle to keep my composure. I love the pure bliss of Holy Spirit's goodness and humor.
Most inconveniently, His words will secretly woo me at random moments in front of a crowd.
I react.
They take notice.
They scrutinize me with their eyes and ask questions. "What's gotten into you?" What did you just think of?" "Why are you making that face?" I want to explain. However, holy explanations aren't always well received. If I admit I am having a secret conversation with the Holy Spirit, others may feel judged or uncomfortable.
Here enters my growing frustration. The Holy Spirit is in the room, but I am forced to treat Him like a mute idol. No, worse! I am forced to live as if He isn't there. I have to bottle Him inside. Hide Him under my skin.
For this reason, I can't remain in crowds for extended periods of time. I need to talk openly with my Friend. I don't avoid crowds because I am a loner. I avoid crowds because the Spirit is in the room, but He is left out of conversations. I want to bring Holy Spirit into my every conversation. Mainly, because He is entertaining and engaging and comforting. Honestly, He talks incessantly, if one just listens. His conversations are never boring and they will never leave you feeling like a loner.
Most inconveniently, His words will secretly woo me at random moments in front of a crowd.
I react.
They take notice.
They scrutinize me with their eyes and ask questions. "What's gotten into you?" What did you just think of?" "Why are you making that face?" I want to explain. However, holy explanations aren't always well received. If I admit I am having a secret conversation with the Holy Spirit, others may feel judged or uncomfortable.
Here enters my growing frustration. The Holy Spirit is in the room, but I am forced to treat Him like a mute idol. No, worse! I am forced to live as if He isn't there. I have to bottle Him inside. Hide Him under my skin.
For this reason, I can't remain in crowds for extended periods of time. I need to talk openly with my Friend. I don't avoid crowds because I am a loner. I avoid crowds because the Spirit is in the room, but He is left out of conversations. I want to bring Holy Spirit into my every conversation. Mainly, because He is entertaining and engaging and comforting. Honestly, He talks incessantly, if one just listens. His conversations are never boring and they will never leave you feeling like a loner.
No comments:
Post a Comment