Now that most of my friends are married and having children, I am satisfied that God destined me for a life of singleness. Everyday this calling is confirmed. I find deep satisfaction in my singleness. The superior pleasures of pure devotion to Christ are not to be compared to the temporary love of marriage or the reward of children.
Unfortunately, I am battling a spirit of offence. I have experienced the power of singleness, and it is tempting to want everyone to experience it with me. When my friends tell me they are engaged, I don't always feel like celebrating. I am surrounded by college age students. This is the age when students date, flirt, and search for their soul mate. It bothers me. I can't engage in their conversations and pursuits. Honestly, it repulses me at times. It seems so frivolous and distracting. This offence carries over to my friends who have been married for years. I often wondered what singleness could have done for them. How it could have blessed them and blessed others.
I know in my mind that God has sanctified marriage. However, my heart is simply discontented with the model. I find it all fleeting and momentary. It would seem more productive for most to remain single and devote themselves to focused devotion and service.
As I have admitted, it is a spirit of offence. It is unhealthy for me to think such ill thoughts toward a acceptable and precious gift of love and community. I think I am simple enamored by the glorious beauty of my own experience. I should never expect others to process life in the same manner that I do.
However, I still hope there are men and women who can embrace singleness. I hope there are friends in my circle who embrace it. I don't want to be surrounded by married people. I hope I can have a few companions who receive the reward and beauty of singleness.
Unfortunately, I am battling a spirit of offence. I have experienced the power of singleness, and it is tempting to want everyone to experience it with me. When my friends tell me they are engaged, I don't always feel like celebrating. I am surrounded by college age students. This is the age when students date, flirt, and search for their soul mate. It bothers me. I can't engage in their conversations and pursuits. Honestly, it repulses me at times. It seems so frivolous and distracting. This offence carries over to my friends who have been married for years. I often wondered what singleness could have done for them. How it could have blessed them and blessed others.
I know in my mind that God has sanctified marriage. However, my heart is simply discontented with the model. I find it all fleeting and momentary. It would seem more productive for most to remain single and devote themselves to focused devotion and service.
As I have admitted, it is a spirit of offence. It is unhealthy for me to think such ill thoughts toward a acceptable and precious gift of love and community. I think I am simple enamored by the glorious beauty of my own experience. I should never expect others to process life in the same manner that I do.
However, I still hope there are men and women who can embrace singleness. I hope there are friends in my circle who embrace it. I don't want to be surrounded by married people. I hope I can have a few companions who receive the reward and beauty of singleness.
1 comment:
I have asked myself this before. Why do people put on what seem to be the shackles of marriage. Coming from a divorced household, I ask "why get married". My dad's response was something like, "I think that is just the way we are". The more I think through it, I think this was on its way to the right answer. I think back to Genesis saying, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Even though this talks about men, I think it refers to a need both sexes has that God fills in an indirect way rather than a direct way. It is important to remember the phrase: "Preach the Gospel always, and if necessary, use words." One of my friends, Nathan Biberdorf, also talked about being single for life back in February (http://nathanbiberdorf.wordpress.com/2012/02/01/celibacy-its-not-just-for-waffles-any-more/) I don't know if you've seen this Taylor chapel video yet from April, but J.R. Briggs discusses the spirituality of marriage in it (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8eDp7fP0JQ&feature=BFa&list=PL7B10AC5FEAF2A7D2).
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