The Root of All Evil

I fear I love money. I will fail to admit it to myself. I hate how money limits me. I hate how money dictates what I can and cannot do. I hate how money establishes my status in a materialistic world. Even though I hate money, I still depend on it. I still break down when I don't have it. I still feel a thrill when extra, unexpected cash appears.

I think money is a constant frustration and distraction. But, my life and emotions are controlled and manipulated by it. I may hate money in my mind, but I love money by my actions.

I am forcing myself to meditate on this verse: "But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ." Philippians 3:7. I want this verse to permeate all my thoughts. I want this verse to influence my actions. I want this verse to free me from the love of money. I want to know what it feels to live in freedom and joy even when I "have no place to lay my head". (Matthew 8:20)