My blog will be under going some construction in the next few days. I will be deleting my Psychotic Psychiatry blog. Then I will be turning this blog into my spiritual blog. It will only address spiritual themes. Then I will be starting a new blog that deals with my daily life.
1. By deleting my Psychotic Psychiatry blog, I hope to become less bitter and more thankful for my health.
2. If you don't wish to hear me testify of Jesus, you can subscribe to my daily activities blog only. That way you can keep tabs on me without being preached at. My daily journal's web address is: www.peachypath.blogspot.com.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Ticket and Forgivness
I accidently parked in a restriced parking spot on campus. I didn't see the sign designating that parking spot for faculty only. I feared I would have to pay the fee today. I didn't have the cash to cover it. I walked in the campus-safety building with slumped shoulders and a grimace. To add to my frustration, it was raining.
A policeman came up to the desk and explained that my school account would be billed. This gave me some relief because I knew I couldn't pay it out of pocket. The policeman asked me some questions. He told me I could appeal the decision. I didn't want to appeal the decision, it was my fault after all. Suddenly, the policeman was writing void on my ticket. He understood that I was a transfer and unfamilar with the campus. This man radiated the love of God. This is why I decided to attend a Christain University. Not to excuse my mistakes, but to see God reflected in students and facutly.
Jesus will void your ticket. :)
A policeman came up to the desk and explained that my school account would be billed. This gave me some relief because I knew I couldn't pay it out of pocket. The policeman asked me some questions. He told me I could appeal the decision. I didn't want to appeal the decision, it was my fault after all. Suddenly, the policeman was writing void on my ticket. He understood that I was a transfer and unfamilar with the campus. This man radiated the love of God. This is why I decided to attend a Christain University. Not to excuse my mistakes, but to see God reflected in students and facutly.
Jesus will void your ticket. :)
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Finally Thankful
The enemy is an expert in making us bitter, scared, and useless. I have been wallowing in my confusion, and acting like a victim. I was not comfortable with transitioning out of Fort Wayne. Instead of trusting God, I whined. However, this is starting to change.
I am now more aware of God's restoration. He is taking my brokenness, and healing it. Today I had my first vocal lesson (a required art credit). My teacher cried when she heard me sing scales. A week ago, I gave an impromptu speech in my public speaking class about remaining single. I am looking forward to writing more, and being published again. I love my new family, the Oyerinde's! God is for me, and not against me.
I shouldn't have whined. I shouldn't have wallowed. I should have celebrated, and worshiped the God of love and destiny. HE IS BRINGING RESTORATION!!
I am now more aware of God's restoration. He is taking my brokenness, and healing it. Today I had my first vocal lesson (a required art credit). My teacher cried when she heard me sing scales. A week ago, I gave an impromptu speech in my public speaking class about remaining single. I am looking forward to writing more, and being published again. I love my new family, the Oyerinde's! God is for me, and not against me.
I shouldn't have whined. I shouldn't have wallowed. I should have celebrated, and worshiped the God of love and destiny. HE IS BRINGING RESTORATION!!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Babies, Babies
My old roommates, the Whiteley's, have a new addition to their family. Here is a picture of Xander. If you haven't heard... my new roommates, the Oyerinde's, are also expecting. My high school friend, Melissa, is also pregnant. I am surrounded by babies. Must be something in the water.
Monday, September 07, 2009
Am I Crazy or Falling in Love
Recently, God's presence has been more tangible. For instance, during prayer or worship, I feel a tense heat on my body. I have also had some powerful, supernatural dreams in the last month. I realize that many Christians never experience this. Whenever I share this information with nominal Christians or non-believer, they look at me like I am nuts.
I assume these skeptics believe I am either crazy or I am lying. It makes it much easier for people to question my spiritual encounters because I am diagnosed with a mental illness. This frustrates me; however, I know that my relationship with God is not dependent on people's perceptions or criticisms.
However, my own fears and doubts trouble me. What if I am hallucinating? What if the heat on my skin, during prayer, is a symptom of my illness? What if my intense love for the Lord is motivated by insanity? What if my fanatical beliefs cause me to land a room on the third floor?
Why am I asking these questions? Simple. The past few days I have been falling deeper in love with God. I'm serious. Like a bride loves her groom. I mean it is impossible for me to resist! He paints the sunset, He makes the leaves turn multiples colors in the fall, He came to earth as a man..not just a man...a man with a heart of compassion and humility.
How can anyone not fall madly in love with Him? As I realize these emotions, I tell myself..."Tamara, you are crazy! You are nuts! He's God. You can't really fall in love with Him. That is weird." But my mind hasn't slowed my heart. My heart still goes pitter-pat. There is my confession.
I am crazy, and my medication has yet to kill this infatuation. I am in love. Does anyone have a suggestion on how to stifle this love? I have tried, and I have failed.
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