Now What?

Obviously I am in transition. My job is no longer supplying a sufficient amount of income. My college is no longer continuing their undergraduate program. I also know that my current living arrangements are about to change. I have dealt with radical change multiple times! This transition will inevitably move me to the exact place God longs for me to be.

God has gifted me with some extra time to truly seek Him. It is tempting to ask Him a million questions about my immediate future; it is more romantic to simply fall in love with Him. Most of my quiet times focus on getting to know His heart and not so much about my next steps. I want to know Him above knowing what He wants me to do. My walk with God is never about duty and exploits. It is about building a solid, intimate relationship. I figure when I know His heart I will in turn know which path to take.

With my college history I have really started to doubt that God wants me to graduate. I am not saying He has said no to college. I am just saying that circumstances have caused me to question and doubt. College is a worthy pursuit. But, college was never an idol for me. I didn't require a degree to prove my worth or stroke my ego. I know God can use me despite my lack of experience and knowledge.

As I seek God about my path I have received some insight. Abortion is no longer an issue I consider haphazardly. It has started to consume my thoughts. I have been writing essays, fictional stories, and poems addressing this holocaust. As I was seeking the Lord I began to believe that He was going to move me into a position where I would have influence. I have been looking for job openings that would cause me to have a voice. This job may be in a Hope Center, an adoption agency, a pro-life government organization, or even a job dealing with the legality of abortion. My actual dream is to write about the topic. There might be a newsletter or magazine looking for a good article. Whatever it may be I WANT to change lives and save lives. I am going to devote my strength to the eradication of these senseless murders.