Since I withdrew from the University of Evansville I have struggled with confusion regarding college. My desire to continue my education has oscillated. There are month I am convinced I will never return and there are days I feel called to return. When I left UE it was under traumatic circumstances. Due to these traumatic events I have feared returning to school. I am afraid I won't be successful, I'll become ill, or I will be denied entrance. But, in the last few month I have gained a deep desire to continue my education. What amazes me is how many people are encouraging me to pursue this avenue. I will admit that I am constantly doubting my ability. I didn't even consider college until others suggested the possibility. A good friend of mine pointed out that I limit myself too much. By doing this I also deny God's ability to restore, use, and heal me. I am starting to be more honest with God about my desire to continue my education. As I bring this issue to God I uncover some bitterness and hidden fear. There is deep pain related to my experience at UE and a continuous doubt that I will ever recover from it. Now that I am applying to Taylor University I actually see doors opening. This is surreal to me because I honestly never thought it was possible. The road blocks I expected haven't reared their ugly head. People have been enthusiastic about praying for this possible move. I didn't really know how good Taylor's writing program was. I now know it is top quality. After talking with a college recruiter I was begging God to open the door. When I am completely honest with God, my peers, and myself I realize I want to return to college. I wanted to share this story with you as well. It was just a small incident that encouraged me to consider school again.
At my grandmother's funeral my first grade teacher came to pay her respects. She came up to me and asked if I remembered her. I told her I did and then we had a small conversation. My dad joined the conversation. Then the teacher began to speak on what a good writer I was. She said she enjoyed reading my stories because they were so creative. It has been a VERY long time since I was in first grade. The fact that she remembered my writing amazed me. I always got good grades and comments about my writing ability throughout school. But, the fact that she remembered that, after these many years, astonished me greatly.
So please be in prayer about this. I want to follow God's lead.
2 comments:
I was thinking about you today. I was at Hyde Brothers and I saw a book for Christian Writers Market '99. I thought about grabbing it for you since it was a free book but I didn't know if you'd be interested. Let me know if you are bc I can go back and get it.
Isn't that too cool though? I thought about that and stuff earlier, before you posted this! :-D
I am seeing little signs like that everywhere. Little conversations with people that confirm that God is blessing my writing. I would be interested in the book. Currently I am taking many steps to establish myself as a professional writer. This isn't just a hobby. It is a ministry and a passion. Thanks for thinking of me. You are such an encouragement.
Post a Comment