Deaf

I must confess I am not hearing God clearly. Somewhere He made a U turn and I didn't turn fast enough. Now I have to back track and catch up with Him.

1. My worship set is postponed till mid March. Two babies have been born and the families needs to focus on the these bundles of joy.
2. I didn't end up attending One Thing because of my illness.
3. I have been surrounded by people who don't support the IHOP lifestyle.
4. I have a more sensitive spirit toward the issue of relationships. I find myself distracted and lonely.

I know I am in a transition period. Unfortunately it is not going smoothly. I am not hearing what God wants me to do. Right now I am spending most of my time in my room listening to One Thing pod casts and CDs. I am hoping it will afford me some enlightenment. It gave me goosebumps, but I don't know how to apply the knowledge in my current state.

One very positive event that has occurred is dealing with my job. I spend 2 hours in a building everyday except Sundays. That will give me enough money to provide for myself but won't interrupt other social and spiritual activities. But God is not opening the doors of heaven. I am getting very little revelation. Right now my path is hidden and my goals are unattainable. I got a word that I was going through a changing process. I thought I knew what she meant at the time I received the word. I was wrong. God is changing me so quickly that I don't know who I am. He is stripping away everything to expose my barrenness. I haven't been praying to tell you the truth. I am not compelled to pray anymore. It is more of a burden. Tonight I am going to turn off the lights, put on a few candles, play some Misty, and struggle to open up the lines of communication again.