Powerless

When I examine the lives of the early apostles, I see moments of failure coupled with moments of power. As I examine my own life, I see moments of failure and not many moments of power. I am not saying I haven't seen the miraculous. God has used nature, signs, and wonders to draw me to Himself. However, I don't have examples of Him powerfully working through me. This is slightly unnerving because I believe a Christian life should be an example of power. Prayers should be answered. Healings should follow me. My witness should draw others to Him. I can't say that my prayers are never answered. However, some of my most heartfelt prayers go unanswered. I have fervently prayed for unity in the body since I was a young teenager. I have witnessed far more division. I've never prayed for someone and seen them instantly healed. I know a man who has a profound gift of healing. His prayers for physical and emotional healing are often instantaneously answered.  I am envious. I have reached out to non-believers in my community. Their reaction is often guarded or offended instead of receptive and moved.

I feel powerless often. I never assume that my God is lacking power. Just me. Recently, I have considered that power might corrupt me. If I had a massive healing ministry, I might not be able to handle the influence. If I was winning thousands to Christ, I might start to lean on my own strength. God often delays the answers to our prayers because we might not be mature enough for the fulfillment.

In Acts 3, there is a record of a paralytic being healed. I love Peter's reaction when the crowds began to gather.

When Peter saw this, he said to them: “Fellow Israelites, why does this surprise you? Why do you stare at us as if by our own power or godliness we had made this man walk? The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the God of our fathers, has glorified His servant Jesus. You handed Him over to be killed, and you disowned Him before Pilate, though he had decided to let Him go. You disowned the Holy and Righteous One and asked that a murderer be released to you. You killed the author of life, but God raised Him from the dead. We are witnesses of this. By faith in the name of Jesus, this man whom you see and know was made strong. It is Jesus’ name and the faith that comes through Him that has completely healed him, as you can all see.

 As I reflect on my powerlessness, I am reminded that I am not Jesus. Ultimately, He is the healer and the fulfillment of our deepest desires. I could pray for more power, but I'd rather pray for more of His presence. I want Him to receive all the glory and admiration.