Asis: New Wine

Even though I believe I will remain single and never have children, there is still a desire in my heart to birth. I think that is why God has called me to be an intercessor. A passage that comforts me is Isaiah 51:1

Shout for joy, O barren one, you who have borne no child; break forth into joyful shouting and cry aloud, you who have not travailed; for the sons of the desolate one will be more numerous than the sons of the married woman," says the LORD.

I may never have children of my own, but I want to raise up numerous spiritual children. I believe God is partnering with me in this desire.

One of my friends introduced me to the Hebrew word asis. This word means new wine. I fell in love with this word, and I thought it would be a powerful name for a little girl. If I ever had a little girl of my own, I would name her Asis. I would pray that she would grow up to be a woman who was open to experience the new things of God. She wouldn't be offended by His unique rule, and she would embrace those who felt misunderstood or misplaced. She would be full of joy!

Recently, Christians around me are experiencing the wine of the spirit. OneThing2009 speakers have even spoke of the wedding wine. This wine causes joy, and breaks a Pharisaical oppression. This wine is His love, and wordily wine pails in comparison.

Earlier this year, Matt Spinks shared a vision he had of me. Jesus and I were sitting at a table, on a date. Jesus was offering me a glass of wine. He toasted and said, "To our love."

As soon as Matt shared this vision, I remembered my little spiritual girl, Asis. God is sending revelation about this new wine within His body. I hope my prayers for this new wine have ushered some of it to be. My little Asis is growing up.

OneThing-Monday Evening

Well, I didn't plan to stay up till 12:00am watching the OneThing LiveWebcast, but I did! This year they are doing things differently than the years before. They are having ministry sessions and testimonies.

Monday's sessions focused on Christians who were suffering from depression and torment. A spirit of joy, healing, and freedom was released. I physically felt a weight lift off my shoulders. He took my ashes and made me beautiful. He took my heaviness and gave me a garment of praise. I am going to DANCE for my King and recieve His wedding wine!

In the last month, I have been experiencing a spirit of joy. This One Thing session solidfied and confirmed that work. I never thought I would ever experience genuine joy, but God is restoring me and exposing His love and zeal for me. It makes me smile and laugh.

I am also gaining a deep love for the body of Christ. The world may ridicule us, judge us, and misunderstand us, but they are beautiful! God will make them lovely and wash them white. They will move in power and love.

Beyond the joy and freedom, I feel like the gates of heaven have been flung wide open. The weight of God presence is intensifying. God is healing and ministering in power. If you want to watch OneThing, go to this website and register for the Webcast. After you register, then an e-mail will be sent to you with a link to watch.

Discipline or Persecution

I realize there is a difference between discipline and persecution. However, I am having trouble discerning which is which in my daily interactions. Do I persecute the body instead of discipline the body?

Recently, my Christian friends were verbally attacked for their faith by other Christians. These critics consider it godly to berate styles of worship foreign to their own. These critics accuse their brothers and sisters of blasphemy. There is a voice of love, but there is also a voice of accusation. How can you know the voice of love?

The bible instructs the church to confront Christians who are in sin. The Bible also instructs Christians to stay accountable to each other. But, false correction is self serving and motivated by hatred. I get spiritually violent when I hear the voice of the accuser. I love my brothers and sisters. I love them more than my desire to be right.

I know I have spoken with malice in the past. I know not all my words are edifying and motivated by love. I am trying to correct this fault. I am surrounded by Christians who love to judge, and it is hard to break away from it. The world will not know us by how right we are; the world will know by our love for one another.

Corey Stirs My Spirit

Below is a message given by Corey Russell, my favorite speaker. This message will hold all listeners accountable. Corey gave this message at OneThing in 2008. I had plans to attend that conference, but was hindered. I wasn't able to attend this year either. I was confused why God would give me such a desire to attend this conference, and then not open the door.

This sermon helped me overcome the disappointment of missing these conferences. This message humbled me, and it drove me to repentance. My flesh was deeply offended, but my Spirit grew in zeal. In this message, Corey Russell reminds us that attending a powerful conference will never justify a life of prayerlessness. The calling of a forerunner is a life in the wilderness of study and prayer.

This sermon is over an hour, but I wanted to share anyway. Feel free to listen to it on my blog, or you can watch at this LINK.

His Love is Unrelenting

I desire to understand the fear of the Lord. Recently, I have been provoked by God's jealousy and His passion for my heart. It is His pure, undistracted love I fear. There are moments in prayer when I come face to face with the reality that God's love is unrelenting. This love isn't puppy love; this love isn't Hallmark love. This love is dangerous. I can’t escape His love. His eyes of fire will never stop burning. His eyes are fixed on His bride. He will do anything to have her, even violent acts. God won't hold back. God won't relent. God is guarding her with a myriad of His angels. Each has a sword in their hands. A heavenly army is protecting her from any lesser lover. Be careful how you treat her.

The Fatherless

I have a knot in my stomach and a tear on my cheek. Derek Loux passed away after a car accident. While he lived, he fought for orphans and sex traffic victims. I think his death is hitting me hard because his entire ministry was based on helping the fatherless. Now his chldren are dealing with the death of their father. Derek knew God's voice. Derek served his family, his community, and ministered to His God. I know he is celebrating in the Father's arms, but his family will miss him. Please pray for his family. If you want to know more about Derek's vision, his family, and his ministry, go to this website.

A Surprise

One Thing is an annual conference hosted by the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, Missouri. Last year I made plans to attend. An anonymous donor paid my entire way. This gesture was gladly received. Then two days before the bus left for the conference, I had a mental break. Instead of attending One Thing, I was trapped inside a hospital.

I cried myself to sleep most of those nights in the hospital. I knew God was blessing everyone who attended the conference, and it broke my heart that I wasn't there to experience God's hand. It was extremely difficult to heal from that disappointment. I had to fight against the temptation of fear and mistrust.

I am making plans to attend the conference this year. I have the money and the days don't conflict with my work. There are moments in my life when I sense God is "up to something." Now is one of those times. I visually see God holding something behind His back. He has a big smile on His handsome face.

I ask Him, "What is behind Your back?"
He laughs and then replies, "Can't tell you! It is a surprise!"

I am eager to see where God takes me. But, I am even more eager to feel His presence daily, to see Him dance over me, and experience His deep jealousy for my heart. Pitter Pat!

The Unity of the Church

Many people pray for the church to be united. I have suffered from the divisions and conflicts within the body of Christ. However, I believe God is capable of healing our brokeness and foolishness.
I don't think unity has anything to do with denominations putting aside their difference. I don't think unity has anything to do with us changing our beliefs. Unity isn't about our beliefs! Unity is about loving each other, and sharing our lives together. Even if we believe in infant baptism and they believe in emmersion...we can still experience unity. Unity is reached when we love each other, and serve each other in a community!

Provision

I lost my paycheck. I live paycheck to paycheck, so loosing my paycheck is serious. An entire week has passed, and that paycheck still hasn't been reissued.

I promised myself that I wouldn't succumb to fear. Whenever I felt worry creep up on me, I would thank God for His many blessings. I refused to grumble and complain. I faltered some, but overall I trusted God.

Today I attended my work Christmas party. I won $200.00! The relief felt glorious. I want to live with faith everyday. It produces results! Worry and fear, they aren't worth the effort.

Stealing Our Healing

Recently, I have been wrestling with the role of healing in a believer's life. I believe God is able and willing to heal his people. I struggle to understand why some people don't experience healing. There are Christians who are faithfully contending for healing, and have been contending for years, without results.

A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with someone who believes God uses doctors to heal now. I don't fully agree with this statement. I think we turn to doctors too soon. We don't give God the chance to heal, and this weakens our faith. I don't think doctors are evil! I know God has given doctors talents, knowledge, and compassion. But, most Christians trust doctors to heal more than they trust God to heal.

This is a sensitive subject because recently parents wanted God to heal their child; therefore, they stopped medicating the child. The child died. Now the parents are facing charges of murder/neglect. This is tragic, and it makes my faith squeamish.

Now I have a question...

Some Christians assume their lack of faith is preventing healing. However, many of these Christians have faith for healing. I fear the lack of healing may be a result of others who don't believe. What if the community is stealing the healing? In Matthew 13, Jesus refuses to do miracles in His hometown because they lacked faith.

What if Christians have faith for healing, but the majority of their community lack that faith? Can their lack of faith steal my healing, your healing, or your child's healing? It is a provocative question, and I haven't answered it yet.

I considered it could be true, and it made me furious. My dedication to prayer will eventually produce results, but will those prayers be hindered because of the lack of faith that surrounds me?

A Powerful Delusion

Today in class, I was put in a position where I was required to share my opinions about homosexuality.

One lady asked, “How can you believe homosexuality is a sin when all the new scientific research suggests homosexuality is not a choice?”

I responded in this way:

“I believe the Bible is more accurate than scientific research. I don’t trust myself to scientific research that doesn’t line up with scripture. The Bible says homosexuality is a sin; therefore, homosexuality is a sin”

After this response, I experienced both external pressure and internal insecurity. I felt the whole room lose respect for me. The audience didn’t express this disrespect outright, but I saw it on their faces. I am sure some of them considered me ignorant to respond in such a way. How can I ignore science when it proves a theory?

After observing the room’s reaction to my statement, I became ashamed at my answer as well. The answer was honest; I REALLY don’t trust science when it negates scripture. I strongly believe that scripture is inerrant, but the external pressures were weakening my resolve. I felt defeated.

On my drive home, I convinced myself that my answer was honest and correct. I shouldn't be ashamed of the gospel! Then I got to thinking. People assume that if science can disprove something than that something is disproved. I am bold enough now to ignore that assumption.

A scripture verse came to mind. 2 Thessalonians 2:9-12 (New International Version)

“The coming of the lawless one will be in accordance with the work of Satan displayed in all kinds of counterfeit miracles, signs and wonders, and in every sort of evil that deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness.”

Suddenly, I realized that scientific "fact" could be a part of that delusion. People who trust science over scripture are choosing to believe a lie; therefore, God deludes them by tampering with all their scientific outcomes and evidences. It may seem far-fetched, but it is possible.

One friend was telling me that she believed creation was created in 6 days. I asked her what she thought about all those SUPER OLD dinosaurs’ bones. She replied, “Maybe God put them there to test our faith.” I laughed when she told me this, but now I think that response is adequate and very possible.

Any scientific fact that negates God’s sovereignty or demeans his perfect law isn’t fact at all. Any evidence that belittles my faith and mocks my God shouldn’t intimidate me. I will just assume God is allowing men to believe a lie by sending a delusion because these men love wickedness. Don’t let scientific “facts” rattle your faith.