Anxious Thoughts

Recently, the Lord has brought Luke 2:41-50 to my attention. This is the passage where young Jesus stays at the temple, and Mary and Joseph can't find him. His parents go a full days journey before they realize their son is missing. They confront him. Jesus doesn't apologize. He is perplexed by their anxious thoughts.

My relatives and friends often show concern for my well being. Undoubtedly, they fear I will have another mental breakdown. I understand why they worry, but I also know the Lord is in control. There are steps I wish to take which will undoubtedly cause concern in others. I appreciate concern and council. I only pray that these concerns are not based out of fear and worry. I can't be swayed or hindered by the fears of others. I need to cling to hope, and trust that the Lord is here to sustain me.

Worldview

In my early years I was egocentric. My worldview was limited to my experience and my upbringing. I was born in America, and I knew very little about the rest of the world. In recent month I have become extremely curious about other cultures and their different political systems. I have always been interested in Israel, but I find myself wanting to educate myself about other cultures as well. I am very ashamed of my lack of knowledge. Geography has never been my strong point! There is a big world out there! I am feeling a bit overwhelmed, but motivated! I hope to utilize Wikipedia, maps, current news, and documentaries.

Commitment

There are numerous people who bemoan my generation for our lack of commitment. My generation often avoids living under obligation. Even dedicated leaders struggle with living with a ball and chain. The older generation has shared their distaste for my generation and our lack of devotion.

But, I respect my generation's fear of commitment. I think this tendency is God given. Here is what God said about those who walk in the Spirit.

"The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit." John 3:8

I think the current church is following a business model that is not necessarily biblical. We have a chain of command, hours to clock in, and yokes of slavery. (Is the word slavery overkill?) I am not convinced that commitment is always a sign of obedience and integrity. When you live with a routine you learn how to tune out the voice of God.

Do I think God never asks us to commit? No, I think there are moments in life when God commands us to commit. Marriage is an example of a biblical commitment. However, obligating a spirit-led believers to be predictable and punctual is legalistic.

I do not envy worship leaders who are asked to lead worship every Sunday like it is their job. If you plan on going on a vacation you find someone to fill your place. You better plan on returning and being faithful. If you feel like God is leading you somewhere else then you have to step down from your leadership position. You are no longer the church's worship leader because you can't commit to regularly strumming your guitar at the allotted time. Maybe you don't feel comfortable playing every Sunday at 10:45am for a reason! Worship is spontaneous. Maybe we aren't suppose to sing worship songs every Sunday at 10:45 am.

I am not anti-commitment. Faithfulness and commitment are needful to build integrity and serve others. I would just suggest that lack of commitment is not always a sign of a struggling, lazy Christian. If you walk with the Spirit you are like the wind.

Calvin in my Dreams

I am a shy Calvinist. I am, for the most part, a Calvinist. However, I do not find it necessary to force my beliefs on anyone. In high school I preached my version of truth with passion, but with little compassion. I have learned that God has not called me to argue theology. My acts of love will be visible, and my theological beliefs hidden in my heart and mind. I had a dream last night. I have no idea what I am to take away from the dream, but I thought I would share it.

Derek Loux was speaking. (Derek is coming to Fort Wayne to talk about the justice movement and adoption.) He was explaining to the crowd that he recently converted to Calvinism. (I have no idea if Derek is a Calvinist.) He began to explain why he decided to convert. He held out his hands and began to speak. "These hands aren't holy, aren't kind, aren't gracious, but I want them to be holy, kind, and gracious." Then I woke up.

Never Entered His Mind

I am a sensitive individual, and mankind's fallen nature concerns me. Obviously, I am fallen as well. I know my sins and imperfections have hurt the heart of my Creator. I will never claim to be more righteous than another, or more holy than my neighbor.

However, I still grapple with our culture’s rationalization of killing innocent children in the womb. I do not hate people who are pro-choice. I will not even judge them, but I will misunderstand them.

I must confess that I have no ability to understand the pro-choice point of view. God gave women the ability to hold a child in the womb for 9 months. This is a most intimate and sacred communion. Giving the woman the unrestrained right to discard the life inside her is barbaric. By the fifth week of pregnancy the baby already has a heartbeat!

I have been in countless debates over this subject. Now I realize these arguments were futile and foolish. I should volunteer at a Hope Center, and set my eyes on the frightened, pregnant teenager. Why have a political discussion with someone who holds a belief, and might never perform an abortion? I am not here to throw words around, and then never show acts of benevolence.

The main point of this post is to state that my mind can’t comprehend why abortion is accepted. I am not the only one who can’t understand such an act. The same goes for my Savior. Such violent acts never enter His mind.

31 "They have built the high places of Topheth, which is in the valley of the son of Hinnom, to burn their sons and their daughters in the fire, which I did not command, and it did not come into My mind.

Jer 7:31

Bush and Obama have no power to stop or promote abortion. That would be God's job. The seat is filled.

Thank God that Mary was Pro-Life

Glass Says Cool

My eyes have been hurting for about a month now. I decided to get an eye exam. Apparently, there is nothing wrong with my eyes. However, my prescription was altered significantly. I absolutely love my new pair of glasses.

American Common Sense

My car had a flat tire, and on Sunday I went to replace it. The man behind the desk informed me that my tire was not salvageable. He then proceeded to tell me the cost of the new tire. Without asking if I wanted two tires he simply assumed I did. Apparently, when you replace a tire it helps to buy them in pairs. I guess it helps them wear at the same rate. I told him I only wanted one tire. He obliged me; he didn't pressure me to buy two tires. However, this transaction had my head spinning the whole day. I had one flat tire, and three workable tires. It did not make sense to me to buy two new tires. First, I am not loaded with cash. Second, it seems wasteful to replace a workable tire. Third, there are children starving in Africa. In recent month I have become all too aware of how American culture has made me materialistic. What some Americans call common sense (buying two tires) homeless Africans call murder.

Playing Hard to Get

Your average person assumes being good attracts the attention of God. If you pray countless hours then God will show you favor. If you give excessive amounts of cash to the poor then God will look your way. If you successfully witness to your neighbor then God owes you His attention. This couldn't be farther from the truth. Our acts of righteousness are as filthy rags.

Our acts of kindness can't persuade God to love us any more or less than He already does. But, I have noticed that our sin attracts God. What do I mean by that? God loves a challenge. The Bible says God will leave the ninety nine to get the one. He rejoices over that lost sheep more than the ninety nine who did not go astray. (Matthew 18:12-13)

There are countless stories of God showing favor to men and women who were extreme failures. David was a murder and an adulterer. The apostle Paul persecuted and killed Christians. All of Israel continually went astray to worship idols. God is attracted to the big, the bad, and the ugly.

In Songs of Solomon the Shulamite is compared to a palm tree. In my Oxford Annotated Bible it suggest this description denoted inaccessibility. The palm tree produces coconuts that are difficult to get at. An apple tree is low to the ground. One can easily pluck an apple off an apple tree. Retrieving coconuts is a tad bit harder. While mediating on this comparison I became convinced that God loves the thrill of the chase. If you think you are too far gone because of sin and failure then I would suggest God is looking your way. You may run from God; however, God runs with more speed and unending endurance.

I don't suggest you willingly sin to get the Father's attention. That is foolish. But, we must remember that God scolded the religious leaders, and befriended sinners and tax collectors. God's heart is tender to those who do not know Him. He longs for those lost in darkness.

Discipline for Children

I have no children of my own. I have not experienced the late nights and constant worry. I possess little experience in raising them and disciplining them. Obviously, I am not an expert on how to raise a child. However, I know children are precious. I know Jesus gave the kingdom of heaven to such as these. (Matt 19:14)

Some Christian believe spanking their children is a commanded disciplinary action. They justify this punishment with the scriptures in Proverbs. (Proverbs 23:13-14 and Proverbs 13:24) I am willing to accept that God has given parents this command for the betterment of children. However, I fear that faulty psychology has slipped into our homes.

Behavioral conditioning was first used on animals. They would put animals in boxes, reward or punish them, and hope to attain a desired result. These test were later used on humans! One professor actually put his daughter in a box. B.F. Skinner put his daughter in a box for eleven months. He would stimulate her with negative or positive reinforcement. Unfortunately, this science actually assumes that humans have no soul. Children are to be taught through manipulation. They were like animals. This science (I consider it barbaric) is still popular today. Parent magazines use behavioral conditioning to make every child behave and fit into society's norm.

Yes, God desires fathers and mothers to properly raise their children. This means parents must be willing to scold their children and reward their children. But, your child is not an experiment. They are partners with you! Their insights and quirks are God given.

Cold Feet

I attended Hillside Christian Fellowship tonight. My mind was preoccupied. I was thinking about my shoes. I only have a few shoes. Actually, most of my shoes are summer shoes. I have three flip-flops and two pairs of dress shoes. I don't own a pair of boots. My sneakers are really the only shoes with enough protection to keep my feet warm.

Unfortunately, my sneakers do not make a great fashion statement. Therefore, I decided to wear my comfortable dress shoes. As I walked through the snow and ice I considered buying a pair of boots. When I entered the apartment (where Hillside meets) I surveyed the room. How many of my friends could afford to buy boots? Was I the only one wearing inappropriate footwear? I was extremely preoccupied with my shoe dilemma. I told myself to be thankful for the shoes I do have, but my cold toes were distracting me.

Matt Spinks announced that we would be joining a Christian ministry on the IPFW campus. I drove to IPFW with no clue that Jesus was about to play a joke on me. We entered the building, and a man was preaching. He was telling us how important it is to bless the poor. The man gave an altar call. Not an ordinary altar call. This man wanted us to give our shoes to the poor. No kidding! People took off their shoes, and placed them on the altar. Considering my preoccupation with my shoes that night, I knew I couldn't leave my shoes on my feet. I laid my black dress shoes on the altar, and laughed to myself. I walked on the cold pavement, and felt the bottoms of my feet go numb. But, my heart was warm with laughter.

Auditions

Fort Wayne Civic Theater is holding auditions for the musical Frankenstein. This musical is exactly the type of musical theater I love. The style of music fits my voice and personality. I miss performing, and did not want to miss the opportunity to audition. I plan to audition more often for local theaters. Don't wish me luck! Tell me to "Break a leg!"